Everything Happens For A Reason

Tomorrow is the day! Doug will receive a kidney from Dan. We have longed for this day and and as we sit here tonight we are in awe that it is almost here. Today started like any other day. The kids went back to school after a week off for spring break, thank goodness!! I started my leave fromwork today to get things done around the house. Then the phone rang. It was Barnes-Jewish Hospital. I assumed that it was a simple 'confirmation call' but boy was I wrong. The lady on the other end of the line introduced herself as the coordinator that was filling in for Doug's coordinator as she was off for the day. Nurse: 'May I speak with James?' Me: 'He's not available can I help you? I'm his wife.'

Nurse: 'I want to let you know that your surgeon, due to unforeseen circumstances, will not be able to do your transplant tomorrow.' Me: 'Excuse me!' The nurse repeated herself as my mind began to spin but I heard her the first time it just needed to sink in for a minute.

Nurse: 'Would you like to reschedule?' I calmly told her that our donor was already in town so NO we would not like to reschedule and I said firmly 'We need another surgeon.' She stated with James aka Doug's approval we could have another surgeon. Doug agreed and so thank goodness we've be assigned to another surgeon keeping everything on schedule! I hung up the phone and sat there with tears in my eyes as it hit me that this is really happening tomorrow. As Doug and I discussed the situation, realistically, those recipients who receive a deceased donor transplant do not have an option of a surgeon they get whoever is on call so after the news settled in and a lot of deep breaths, all was right again. We have been assured by an a dear former neighbor friend, Michelle, who used to work with the transplant team that this surgeon is very capable and we are still in excellent hands! Boy what a morning though!

Kidney disease affects so many people that once you share your story then others begin to share their stories about how kidney disease has affected them. I've heard many stories over the past few months and today I had the pleasure of hearing another one. As I was picking up the kids from Adventure Club a teacher came up to me. "Are you Tanner's mother?" she asked. "Yes I am." I replied not knowing what to expect. "My name is Mrs. ... I'm usually not here at this Adventure Club but I am filling in today. Tanner sahred with me that your husband will be having a kidney transplant tomorrow. Is that correct?" she asked. "Yes it is." I said still not knowing where this was going. She went onto say that her son had a transplant at Barnes two years ago. She was proud to report that he is doing fantastic and his sister was his donor. So she not only had one child being operated on but two at the same time! Tears began to flow as I thanked her for sharing her story with me! I told her today has been a very emotional day as it is sinking in that tomorrow is Doug and Dan's day! Once again, everything happens for a reason and for some reason, she was at Wild Horse Elementary School today so she could share her story with me. I am very grateful that she was there!

I want to stop and address the topic of our children, Claire and Tanner. I've been asked from time to time about how they are handeling their Daddy getting sick and the upcoming surgery. Our children have been amazing through all of this so far. Although, they were young they do remember Doug's sister Sarah having a transplant several years ago and that she is doing really well now. We sat them down early in 2014 and discussed with them that Daddy was getting sick because of his kidneys and that one day he will be better but it will take a big surgery, a new kidney and a lot of time to get there. Sweet Tanner even asked if he could give Daddy one of his kidneys. Oh the tears that flowed from my eyes when he asked that and he was sad when we told him he was to young to give his kidney. Then the guilt and reality set in on me knowing that someday he might need a kidney himself. The guilt at times can be overwhelming knowing that we possibly have passed this horrible disease onto our children. It has taken a toll on them though as at times they are more emotional than usual. From time to time the kids have wanted to talk about the hospital that Daddy will have surgery at, will they be able to see Daddy after surgery, or how long will Daddy be there. It comes at random times but we are honest with the kids and try not to sugar coat it to much. At 10 and 7 they soak everything in and although they don't understand everything they know that he is still their same Daddy, sick or not. Mostly they will talk about what activities we can do when Daddy gets better such as Daddy running a race with Claire or going on a family trip. We took the kids on a Disney Cruise last summer, kinda like a last hooray as we never knew when Doug wasn't going to be able to travel any longer. It's nice to know that they see Daddy healthy and living life to the fullest again. All we could say is that it will happen in time and off they would go to their own little worlds to play on the computer, the Xbox or to play with their neighbor friends which I am grateful for. These last fews days have been rough for the kids though. Claire internalizes everything and hasn't really talked much about it. Tanner wants to talk nonstop about Daddy and his surgery...sharing it with everyone! He is our little chatterbox. Tanner will cry at random moments but tonight as Claire and Tanner said goodnight to their Daddy the tears started flowing and didn't stop! Tomorrow will be hard on them!!! I am grateful to Wild Horse Elementary and the staff as we have received many emails and phone calls offering any assiatance that they can offer. I love knowing that my kids attend such a loving school.

Many have asked about surgery times. I do not necessarily know the specific times. What I do know is that we have to check-in at 5:30am. We will pick Dan and Allison up in the morning and check-in together. It will be emotional and I expect tears from everyone but this time they will be happy tears! I will update as the surgery is underway but until then I would like to once again say THANK YOU on behalf of both of our families (Olroyd andVaughns) to everyone for your kind messages, phone calls and emails that we have received today. Your support and generosity have meant the world to us! Till tomorrow...